the former safety pin girl, now more of an accordion-and-railroad girl.

i'm known by many names. my 'real' name is jessica lynn wilber, but i'm most commonly known as jessica disobedience - even though i stopped going by that pseudonym about four years ago. (for those wondering - i am still disobedient, thankyouverymuch.) as of now, my circus/burlesque name is catcertina, & my musical name is one beer prophet. & if you wanna call me anything else, call me jess or j.

There are those who receive as birthright an adequate or at least unquestioned sense of self and those who set out to reinvent themselves, for survival or for satisfaction, and travel far.  Some people inherit values and practices as a house they inhabit; some of us have to burn down that house, find our own ground, build from scratch, even as a psychological metamorphosis. - Rebecca Solnit

there comes a point in life when claiming labels to identify yourself by is no longer important. i'm at that point. i no longer need to desperately clutch at subcultures like i did when i was a teenager, not for a sense of identity, and certainly not for any fuckin 'cred.' i no longer define myself by how i dress, the kinds of music i listen to, or the people i sleep with. the only labels i feel right in claiming, now, the only ones i need to claim, are all based on what i do. i tell stories; i am a storyteller. i write; i am a writer. i travel; i am a traveller. i play instruments & make up songs; i am a musician. when i do sideshow, i'm a sideshow performer; when i spin records i'm a dj; when i drink, i'm a drinker. i love & i fight - i'm a lover & a fighter.

and my identity is so fluid, anyway, i have so many personas & interests & even names, that to really claim any labels beyond those would be rather ridiculous. see, i've been on just about every side of any hexagonal die you could roll at me. i've been deep in love & deep in loss. i've been fucked with & abused, and i've experienced some of the greatest kindess & generosity in the world. i've been extremely priveleged, and i've lived in poverty. i've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet, a pawn & a king... that's life.

my obsessions include, but are not limited to : jim jarmusch films, tom waits, joe strummer, writing about punk rock, intoxication, tattoos, trains, ghosts, abandoned places, old flames, accordions & concertinas, zines, jack kerouac, bicycles, the circus, gypsies, maps, keys, cigarettes, typewriters, books, & ephemera.

I don't want to give up. I promise I shall never give up, and that I'll die yelling and laughing. And until then I'll rush around this world I insist is holy and pull at everyone's lapel and make them confess to me and to all. -Jack Kerouac

want to know more?...

rain & rivers (my personal journal, friends-only). too huge world (public journal, with website updates, zine info, & writing.) personal myspace. musical myspace. virb. flickr. goodreads. last.fm. art of the mix.